you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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