Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
