I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
