and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
