Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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