Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
