I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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