who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
