I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
