he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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