The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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