whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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