I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think weed is turning my hair brown
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
