you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
honey bunches of taint.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
