Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
