If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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