Im at strip club and am horny
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
