you guys were way drunker than both of me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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