all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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