cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
