Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
