there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
