im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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