somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
