I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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