My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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