He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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