Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
