I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
