So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
