Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My vagina is very pro this idea
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
