If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
