all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We are all done wearing pants today
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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