Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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