I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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