I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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