Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
