omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
