hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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