I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
