8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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