We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize