Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize