well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
