Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
