dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
