my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
