i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
