Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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