I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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