I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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