oh god the rape fog is back!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
