This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
