I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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