You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
