After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
