You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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