Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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