Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
