Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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