I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
