If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
