So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
