You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
