Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
