I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
PANTIES FOUND
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