I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
