Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
