I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
